THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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