I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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