so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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