it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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