You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
so much tequila, so little girl.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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