i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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