very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
