I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
