I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Randomize
