dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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