this boner is exhausting
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
