I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
