Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
