And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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