And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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