Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
