I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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