Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
My vagina is very pro this idea
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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