bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
