so let's talk penis.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
