goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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