47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
