Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
