Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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