he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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