I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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