I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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