I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
