We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
