You're so nebulous sometimes
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
