You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
