I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
