yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
and she was petting her beer can
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
