i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
