I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
