it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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