Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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