it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
