all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
