I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
