Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I need to calm my uterus...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
