Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
