oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
