wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
