that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
