There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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