Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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