I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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