i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
