I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
you had me at cake vodka
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
